1. |
Memento Mori
04:01
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I’m not waiting round for answers to fall down from the sky
And I’m not running round in circles just to watch the world go by
And you say the path is long and winding
And you say the mountaintop is cold
And you say your legs are tired of walking
And you say you’re young and then you’re old
I’m gonna take a boat downriver and paddle back upstream
Rinse the sweat from off my body and lie amongst the leaves
And you say the water’s flowing quickly
And you say the day’s already done
And you say the leaves are lately fallen
And you say your fate can’t be out-(run)
Oh, may there come a day when this eternal body fades away to feed a million bodies more
And when the mold spreads through my skin and when the maggots burrow in I’ll nourish them with every rotting pore
And I’m afraid to die but I will never die ‘cause nothing ever dies, you just transform
And you say your fragile heart is beating
And you say you’ll wither down to bones
And you say the fallow light is waning
And you say your grave is overgrown
And you say God is a pine tree
And you say the roots are burned to ash
And you say after Autumn comes the Springtime
And you say after Future comes the Past
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2. |
Adderall
02:34
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the morning light feels like a wet bag of concrete
stuffy air, tangled hair, sweating through my sheets
I hit snooze six times before I gave up
a parade of somniferous antithesis to who I wanna be
such apathy!
is it that my goals mean nothing to me?
'cause everything I strive for,
every want and hope and dream and desire requires as an unavoidable prerequisite that I. get the fuck. out of bed.
so then, it's 2pm and time for me to make breakfast
but get this:
I can't even get into my kitchen
around the dishes that I've been piling up
welp,
I guess I'll put that off and go take a shower
two. hours. later. I finally make it back downstairs
...staring at my phone
I'll clean the kitchen tomorrow
I'll clean the *whole house* tomorrow
today is wasted so I'll probably stay up late watching
19 YouTube videos at once
I need some Adderall
or to live in a society which values my humanity over my productivity
the possibility of intentionality is
fundamentally irreconcilable with
this internalization of the mechanicalization of the human race
the machinations of
billionaires and corporations
the poison-laced pill that I've swallowed-
I have to face it in myself before it hollows me out.
so if I wanna sleep late...
...I'm damn well gonna
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3. |
Ribcage
04:50
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Someone in my ribcage is banging the walls with a chair
but we stopped talking years ago
cross my heart and kick it into the gutter
why won’t this ache leave me alone?
Someone in my chest is dousing my lungs with gasoline
and lighting up a cigarette
You cross my mind, I’m breathless, intertwined and reckless, god I want it back
Am I ready yet? Am I ready yet?
Why can’t I stop these racing thoughts? What should I do? What do I want
out of my time on this green rock? What if I’m just a fucking fraud?
Why can’t I stop these racing thoughts? What if they’re true? What if I’m not worthy of ever finding love? What if I’m not? What if I’m-
A glimpse of you, a passing mention of your name
and I’ve swallowed a gallon of lead
I want to sink into the floor, but every thought just tangles me up more
Here it goes again, here we go again—
Why can’t I stop these racing thoughts? What should I do? What do I want
out of my time on this green rock? What if I’m just a fucking fraud?
Why can’t I stop these racing thoughts? What if they’re true? What if I’m not worthy of ever finding love? What if I’m not? What if I’m-
(and in the dark you'll learn to listen to your heartbeat)
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4. |
Elbow
04:06
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I stepped out in the cold air
I didn’t see you anywhere
The silence pressing in on my ears
I started walking home
The music was too loud
I nearly lost myself in the the crowd
The violence of the space, it’s not my kind of place
I really should’ve known…
I know I’m fine without you
But I feel so damn alone
I don’t know where to find you
But it sure as hell ain’t here—
I slipped while walking home
Lucky not to break my elbow
Stumbled through the door, lay down on the floor
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5. |
Uncle Walt
03:27
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I wanna be small and loud, I wanna be soft and strong
I wanna be everything the patriarchy says is wrong
I wanna dress like a punk, I wanna dress like your mom
I look super hot in makeup, get it off. get it Off. Get It Off! GET IT OFFFFF!
Do I contradict myself? [x4]
I'm lightning in a bottle, I'm melting summer snow
I'm ancient roots to baby trees, I'm growing nice and slow
I'm so much sweeter than you could ever know
I'm a delicate mountain flower, plug me into the mains and watch me glow!
I just can't get my brain to focus on a single god damn thing
Then I don't eat for days 'cause I'm too busy hyperfocusing
I wanna be a rockstar but no-one's allowed to look at me
I wanna be your domme, so tie me up and make me scream!
Do I contradict myself? [x4]
Who has done their day's work?
Who wishes to walk with me?
Will you speak before I am gone?
Will you prove already too late?
I just can't get my brain to focus on a single goddamn thing
Then I don't eat for days 'cause I'm too busy hyperfocusing
I wanna be a rockstar but no-one's allowed to look at me
I wanna be your friend, but you people kill fags and queers.
I just can't get my brain to focus on a single goddamn thing
When the whole world is burning down to meet the deep-blue-rising-sea
Please stop the ride! I wanna get off this apocalypse machine
Are you fUCKing blind?! to the result of your hypocrisy?
Do I contradict myself? [x4]
[Chant] Fuck you! Love wins!
Do I contradict myself.
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6. |
Paper Heart
02:15
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I don't believe you when you tell me that you're doing fine
that all this time you've been growing
I don't believe you,
I can see the burning edges of your paper heart
The wax seal melting through the careful cursive script,
the perfumed pages ripped
The fact of the matter is:
you're just as lost as everybody else.
I don't believe you,
but I love you,
<3
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7. |
Like A Lost Dog
03:03
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and it's in there, nothing to do
can i chase it? got something to prove
i can feel it fluttering inside
now it's out there nowhere to hide
and it's loping through the treetops
and it's clambering across the blacktop
if you see it, call it back around
it may sting you, but it's happy to be found
and it’s wonderful to walk around in circles
oh and it’s wonderful to dance in spirals
and it's difficult to read a person's lips
and it's difficult to read your mind
and i'm selfish
and i'm dizzy
and i'm colorful
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8. |
Hegemony/Orgasm
02:58
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The foxes in the woods out back don't give a fuck
They just roll around in the leaves and twigs and muck
When did it all get so convoluted?
When did we lose track of our evolution?
I don't give a damn what's in your pants
As long as you like music and holding hands
We can lay in bed all morning staring at the ceiling
Glittering fireflies in the evening
So fuck the hegemony: let's have an orgasm!
The robots in the financial district downtown
Are spewing smoke and growing mold and breaking down
But baby, I'm alive and I'm eradicating my vices
I'm working out, and slowing down, and blowing up my electronic devices
But the truth is I'm lonely, and the whole fucking world's on fire
And I just wanna find some love before I die
So I don't give a damn what's in your pants
As long as you like music and holding hands
We can lay in bed all morning staring at the ceiling
Falling ash and embers in the evening
No I don't give a damn what's in your pants
As long as you play drums for local pop-punk bands
We can lay in bed all morning staring at the ceiling
Glittering fireflies in the evening
So fuck the hegemony
Fuck the hegemony, let's have an orgasm <3
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9. |
Sanctuary
08:17
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all are welcome here
there's no fear
and no one will tell you how to dress
all are welcome here
come sit by me
we can pass the time in silence or in loving conversation
spinning round, round the sun,
the sunlight streams in,
innocence, sense of touch,
oh, touch me, but only if i ask for it
all have food to eat
and get lots of sleep
and if ever you get sick or hurt, we'll patch you up and make you well
and all have community
and love is free
and everybody's body is imperfect and unique and holy
dancing round, round the fire
the firelit snow,
drifting up to the moon,
the yellow moon stares back at us
and this could be our sanctuary,
yeah this could be our sanctuary...
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