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lyrics

the morning light feels like a wet bag of concrete
stuffy air, tangled hair, sweating through my sheets
I hit snooze six times before I gave up
a parade of somniferous antithesis to who I wanna be
such apathy!
is it that my goals mean nothing to me?
'cause everything I strive for,
every want and hope and dream and desire requires as an unavoidable prerequisite that I. get the fuck. out of bed.

so then, it's 2pm and time for me to make breakfast
but get this:
I can't even get into my kitchen
around the dishes that I've been piling up
welp,
I guess I'll put that off and go take a shower

two. hours. later. I finally make it back downstairs
...staring at my phone
I'll clean the kitchen tomorrow
I'll clean the *whole house* tomorrow
today is wasted so I'll probably stay up late watching
19 YouTube videos at once

I need some Adderall
or to live in a society which values my humanity over my productivity
the possibility of intentionality is
fundamentally irreconcilable with

this internalization of the mechanicalization of the human race
the machinations of
billionaires and corporations
the poison-laced pill that I've swallowed-
I have to face it in myself before it hollows me out.

so if I wanna sleep late...
...I'm damn well gonna

credits

from Do I Contradict Myself?, released April 16, 2024

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Nelson Walker Boulder, Colorado

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